I'm in a state of melancholy.
I'm remembering all these years. All of my past friends, crushes, enemies, and others. How I viewed them back then, and wondering what life is like for them now. Happy for some of them, and still holding grudges over others. Seeing how much they've all changed. Realizing that all of that silly teenage life didn't really matter after all. At least not the parts where I felt useless and insecure. Because it really doesn't matter after you're out of school. I miss feeling youthful and dorky, even if I was a little outcasted, cause I was comfortable. Don't get me wrong, those days were stressful as well. Adult life is an equal match so far, but feels a little different. It feels like I don't have so much pressure. I feel mature enough to deal with issues, instead of crying out of confusion. But being young had it's sweet moments. Less responsibilities, to name a major one. I felt like I had all the time in the world plus loads of energy. I didn't worry so much about what would happen next. I still miss all of those old friends. I wish I could've said a proper goodbye. If I could have kept that part of my childhood, my closest friends, I would. But life doesn't work that way, and now I'm lonelier. It's sad yet I adjust to that life. It's so strange to feel this way. I wish I would've cherished the good times just a little more. I wish I would've spoken instead of cower when facing my fear. Worried less, to save that for the future.
Is this what it's like to be an adult?